What Leah Knows
by Oracleness
Summary: My first fanfic about Leah. Jacob doesn't run away at the end of Eclipse, so this happens instead... PS please review and let me know if I should continue! I own nothing!
1. Where it all began

She knew what he felt like. She has felt the pain that was ripping him slowly apart. He doesn't turn around as she approaches him. She's not surprised. Considering. She leans forward, just to see if he'll react to anything.

"Jacob? Hello?" He finally turns and looks her in the eye. She steps back at the sheer emptiness – those eyes that once used to sparkle were now dead. And then she looks closer. She sees in his eyes what she already went through over Sam. She knows that they are just a barrier, a coping mechanism. But she also knows that it is possible to break down this wall, this chasm of loneliness that she herself feels every time she looks at Sam. He breaks the stare and turns away, looking at the beautiful red sunset, but not seeing anything. She doesn't have to be in his head to know what, no who, he's seeing instead of the bleeding sky.

"Jake, seriously…"

"Leah, go away."

"Jake..."

"Leah, why are you even here? It's not like you care, or are going to make things better."

"Well, I'm sorry Jake, but the world doesn't revolve around you…or that leech lover."

"She has a name"

"Yes, like almost all the human population. Wait, even the non human population around here have names – the leeches. You have no problem with me calling them that, and she loves mind rapist leech, so technically she is a…"

"Why are you here?" She's pleased to see that he is shaking. She wants a fight, no she needs a fight. So she keeps rubbing salt in the wounds.

"Why do you think?"

"To annoy me to death? To push me towards that cliff edge? Or maybe you want to jump together – make Sam jealous until the end, is that right?"

She ignores the jibe about Sam. Instead she wanders close to the edge – too close. She looks down and sees the water below, mocking her, tempting her. For a second she wonders what it would be like, who would care, if she did jump. But then again, it probably wouldn't kill her. She wonders what would. A major drop in temperature maybe, like absolute zero. But its not as if tht going to be possible anytime soon. Maybe broken bones – all of them. But, Jake survived that, and besides its not as if she could find anyone who would be able to do that. She turns around as she hears movement behind her. Jacob has moved from his original position of sitting up, cradling his knees to lying down, eyes closed, hands behind his head. To anyone else he could be enjoying the last rays of sun for that one, surprisingly warm day. But from her proximity, Leah can see the tears that gather at the corners of his eyes. She quickly moves away, back into the woods. She thinks she hears his sigh of relief as she disappears. Bu she's not done yet. Stripping off her clothes, she lets the animal take over her body. She feels safer in this form, she knows no one else has changed – they're all still at Sam's, waiting until sunset for the patrols to start. Quietly, she pads over to him.

"Back so soon?" says Jacob, and the pain and anger in his voice hurts her. She can almost hear herself saying the same thing to… well, everyone. She drove everyone away, everyone that ever loved her with her own bitterness. But she was damned if she was going to let Jacob make the same mistakes as she did. In a way, he reminded her of Seth, and that was the only reason she was doing this. She was sure. When she had helped him heal, she was out. Leaving La Push. Forever.


	2. Trying to save you from yourself

They stayed like that until the sky was peppered with stars

They stayed like that until the sky was peppered with stars. Leah suddenly heard a voice in her head. It was Embry.

"_Jeez, where have you been?" _He thought.

"_Nowhere. Everywhere. Somewhere. Why do you care?"_ she replied bitterly. She knew that Jacob desperately needed some alone time, to think and work things out, and showing Embry where they were would not help. Sam would be all over them, making things worse than they were, but for who she was not sure.

"_I don't. I'm just looking for Jake."_

"_Well, it's just me her,"_ she thought, trying to hide the lie. _"Sam, oh, I miss Sam so much. Stupid imprinting. Stupid werewolves. All I wanted was a normal life. Now I'm just a freak, the girly wolf. I'm frozen in time. I can't have children. I'm 19 and menopausal. Fantas-"_

"_Er, thanks for sharing Leah. But I've got to go talk to Sam."_

"_Sam! Sam! Oh Sam! I hate him so much! The bastard ripped my heart out and…"_

"Leah, who are you talking to?" The sound of his voice makes her jump. She phases back, not caring if he sees.

"Me? I wasn't talking to anyone." She says as she pulls her shirt and shorts on.

"That's a lie. Someone else had to have phased, otherwise you wouldn't have been concentrating on looking unhappy so hard."

"Jacob…" she doesn't turn around.

"Uhuh?"

"How can a wolf look unhappy you imbecile?"

There was a long silence, during which Leah turns to face him. He's propped up on one arm, intent on looking anywhere but her until she's dressed. He finally faces her, and beckons her towards him. She goes, unsure, and raises an eyebrow as he indicates that she should sit down.

"Suit yourself. But seriously, tell me – who was it, and what did they say?"

She stands a moment more before flopping on the ground beside him.

"Embry. Looking for you."

"And you said…"

"I said that I hadn't…"

"…the faintest clue where I might be."

She looks at him.

"I don't want to know how you knew that. I don't really care how you knew that. But stay outta my head." He laughs as she gets up and storms off. Before she reaches the forest edge, she turns and yells at him. "Black, stay outta my head and stay here. I'll be back with food. If there's not a fire going by the time I get back, I don't care how heartbroken you are, I'm going to take it and…" She stops as his laughter goes. She tries again. "Jacob?"

He ignores her.

"I'll be back in an hour tops. Jacob? Don't move." She leaves when it becomes clear that he isn't going to reply.


	3. Silence

**Sorry for the really late update! And thanks to all those of you that reviewed!**

Leah runs, as fast as she can in her human form back to her house. She knows that it's Seth's night on, so no one should be in, as her mother had left a few months ago to research more werewolf legends. Leah was'nt resentful that her mum had been sent, in fact she was glad. Their constant fighting was beginning to wear them both down, and Seth was caught in between. It would be nice to have the house to herself, somewhere where she could hide. No one ever visited the Clearwater house anymore – Seth preferred to hang out at Paul's – he had his own house which he shared with his tenants, Embry and Quil. Quietly she opens the door.

Jacob stays. He doesn't know why. He hates Leah. He knows he should move. Run away, Canada perhaps. He could reach that easily. But for some reason he decides to stay. He convinces himself its because he's stubborn – Leah invaded his space, so why should he have to move? Even so, he begins gathering firewood.

She returns, unsure if he's even going to be there. But he is, with a fire roaring beside him. She unpacks the bag she brought with her. Food, fresh clothes for both (she had to raid Seth's closet for his, and even then they probably would be too small), and a sleeping bag.

They eat the food in silence.

**I thought I should just apologise for such a short chapter. I know that the story hasn't got much plot yet, but I needed these first few chapters to set the scene, and in the next one there will be a time jump.**

**To Shiz, BlackRose77 and LeahKaytelynZieders, thanks so much for the reviews! I know I haven't replied personally, but I will next time!**

**Also, I'm aiming for this time jump to be up tomorrow - a good idea or not? Do you need more background? Reviews and thoughts on this please!**


	4. You shouldn't assume things

**Ok, I only had definate replies from two of you, and I would just like to say here that Blackwater won't be happening straight away, even with the time jump. I hate a legit excuse for lateness - I was waiting for more comments before I wrote this, but I think I'll just put it up now.**

The sleeping bag's unecessary, but for Leah it's a comfort. It reminds her of days when she, Seth and her dad would go out camping on the rare weekends that rain was not forecasted. She unzips it the whole way and lies it down on the ground like a blanket and streches out on it. Jacob is once again lying on his back looking up at the sky, at the bright full moon. He's wearing Seth's too-short cutoffs, but no shirt as always, even though she brought him one. She copies his pose, arms behind her head, and closes her eyes, contemplating sleep.

She's woken a few hours later by loud snores. She sits up, fully ready to yell at Jacob for waking her up. She remembers why she's there, and lies back down again slowly. Sleep comes quickly once again – she hasn't slept for ages – her nightmares keep her awake at night. Oddly, here, she seems to find peace.

Small drops of rain start to fall, waking her once more. She had never been a light sleeper, until that day. That day she transformed. No one knew it, but the raw animalistic side of being a werewolf affected her worst. She changed her sleeping patterns (she now needed light to sleep), her eating patterns (she had never eaten much, yet this sudden change meant that she needed to eat more and frequently), even her body had changed with the not aging process. She looks up – there were storm clouds gathering. She walks over to Jacob, and kneels down beside him, shaking him gently. When this doesn't work, she resorts to pulling his hair, and gathers breath to yell in his ear when he puts his arms around her waist and rolls over, bringing her with him, crushing her underneath him. She struggles to get free, fuming silently. If he phased, then she would be a laughing stock. The best thing to do would be to slip away, she tells herself. But he's just so strong – and heavy. And its nice being held.

What, she screams mentally. What!! This is Jacob Black. You don't like him. Yes I do. Shut up brain.

She squirms, trying to roll him over. But Jacob is fast asleep. Suddenly he opens his eyes. She is lost for words.

But not for long.

"Jacob Black you son of a – get your hands off me now you absolute perv. What the hell do you think you're doing!" She screams in his ear.

He jumps a foot in the air.

"I came here to tell you it's going to storm and you try to get with me. You jackass. I thought it would be good for you to have a friend, so you don't end up like me! But you're all the same. Bastard. Don't ever touch me again!" She feels bad, but has to make this his fault, make him embarrassed enough that he never talks or even thinks about it again. She dreads to think what Sam would say if he found out.

"Wait, what?" Jacob blinks sleepily.

Leah pushes Jacob over and frees herself from his hold, standing over him.

"It's going to storm jackass. I reckon you should get your sorry ass back home."

"Aww, a bit of rain scares the girlie wolf away?" His sarcasm is back. His pain is back.

"No you two-faced, conniving, pathetic waste of space," she yells, desperately trying not to phase. "You… you…"

"I'm two faced? I'm conniving? I'm sorry Leah, but you need to look at youself once in a while."

"Just leave me alone you…you…"

"Erm, excuse me girlie wolf, but who came looking for who here? Who intruded on who? And just for the record, why were you underneath me?" He's fighting not to phase. To distract himself, he raises an eyebrow, and looks at her in a suggestive way, hoping to get her more riled up. He's never told her this, but he likes angry Leah. Independent Leah. She's so different from Bella. And yet, she's turned it all around, made herself something hated.

"Because you arrogant twerp, I wanted to tell you that it was raining. And you, like the miserable loner you are decided that you would like to crush me to death."

"Oh." He can't bring it upon himself to feel bad. He liked holding her. Even if in his dream, he was holding Bella.

"Yes. Oh." She mimics him, she's truly angry. "Well, are you coming?"

"Wait, what?"

"Stop saying that. It makes you sound as gormless as you really are."

He just looks at her.

"What?"

"Am I coming where?"

"Well, I assume you don't want to go home. And Seth's out running patrol tonight…well, this morning really, so why don't you come back?"

He realises what she's saying.

"Leah, I don't know how to say this…" without you ripping my throat out. "But I'm not looking for that."

"Wait, what?"

"Erm… I appreciate the offer but I don't really think now is the best time."

"I. Was. Offering. You. Seth's. Room."

"Oh."

"You. Are. A. Complete. Moron." She breathes slowly – counting to ten. She doesn't want to phase. She doesn't want to ruin these jeans. She doesn't want to see the pack's reaction to her finding Jacob. To Jacob holding her. To where they were. To what he assumed. Shaking, she makes her way to her car. She doesn't want to ruin the car.

She hears the car door open, him get in, and shut.

"Leah, I'm really…"

"Shut. Up."

The drive home is silent, but in a I'm-going-to-kill-you-way, not an I'm-heartbroken-kinda-way.

**So, thanks for the reviews. One day I'm going to work this iste out and find out how to reply, but for now I'll just write a little note here:**

**xXxShizxXx**** - thanks for the comments. The time jump would only be a few months, and like I said before, Leah and Jacob won't be together straight away. There's the problem of imprinting. Thanks for the ideas. In fact, I was going to have Leah go away for a while, so that I could do Jacob's POV, and I was going to make the Cullens move away so not even going into that side of things. Sue was going to be killed whilst researching the legends *I wonder why* and half of the pack were going to go investigate - including Sam, so that wasn't even going to be there. But now after reading your questiony things I think I could do a lot more with this, so thanks a lot. I dont think that all of the above will happen now, which is why I told you it. Anyhoos, thanks for the reviews on this - I really need to go rethink this a bit more.**

**ari11990**** - i will do the time jump, but as you can see above I'm kinda having a plot rehaul. thanks for reading and reviweing.**

**Forever-Aurelie**** - thanks! any comments on how this should go now?**


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